How to Find a Good Therapist
One of the easiest ways to find a therapist is to ask your friends or someone you trust who they like. Alternatively, you can put your zip code/international code into this therapist locator.
The profiles of a bunch of therapists in your area will pop up. We’re gonna talk about what to look for in a therapist’s profile.
But first!
Let’s normalize the way resistance will continually pop up as you try to find the right therapist for you.
So, you’ll put your zip code into the therapy locator and all the profiles come up. You’ll glance at them. Maybe you’ll think, “Ugh, I don’t like any of these. I don’t even want to click on anything.” That’s resistance.
Resistance is natural; when you have a goal - any goal - resistance shows up. Resistance is actually a good thing, here’s why. Recognize resistance for what it is (it’s resistance, not the truth) and keep it moving. As in, actually click on the profiles.
As you read the therapist profiles, you’ll see a bunch of psychological jargon like:
I’m a LCSW who uses CBT to address current blocks to living authentically...
I used evidence-based ACT approaches to develop deeper understandings of…
I’m certified in trauma-based healing so that you can reclaim your narrative and live the life you want to now….
Generally speaking, therapists are not good at marketing. Almost none of what therapists put in their profiles makes a lot of sense to someone who isn’t in the field.
So, when you start reading through these profiles, expect to encounter some sense of, “None of these feel right…this is too hard…this is pointless…” defeatist kind of attitude. All normal. All fine.
Why is it fine?
Because the specifics therapists use to advertise themselves – where they went to school, their theoretical approach, how many certifications they’ve acquired – it turns out that none of that stuff impacts successful outcomes in therapy more than the one, huge, big, major thing you should be looking for in a therapist: fit.
Yes, fit.
“Therapist fit” refers to how well you feel you ‘fit’ with your therapist. You need to feel that your therapist cares about you, that they’re competent, and that they ‘get you.’ It doesn’t have to happen right away, but your relationship with your therapist should be moving in the direction of a good fit.
Clinically referred to as the “therapeutic alliance,” research demonstrates that it’s the quality of connection you build with your therapist that most impacts successful outcomes in therapy.
Therapy is work. You want to do the work with someone who you enjoy working with on some level.
Other considerations to keep in mind during your therapist search:
Most therapists offer a no-cost consultation call, where you can talk to them for 10 or 15 minutes and get a feel for their personality, approach, style, competency, etc.
Most therapists offer sliding-scale rates; it’s appropriate to ask about reduced rates for therapy. You are allowed to ask, and the other person is allowed to say no.
Therapy should be sustainable; consider the convenience of location and the cost into your decision. You don’t want to find the right person only to discover, for example, that an hour commute to your therapists office both ways is making therapy a stressful appointment for you to keep.
Insurance often covers therapy. To understand what your benefits are, call the number on the back of your insurance card and ask the following question: “Can you detail my in-network benefits, out-of-network, and deductible for procedural code 90834?” 90834 is the US procedural code for a 45 minute psychotherapy session. You should get a clear understanding of what you’ll need to pay out of pocket for your therapy. If you’re still unsure, ask your insurance company to speak with a patient advocate.
If you don’t have insurance or your insurance doesn’t cover therapy, there are lots of ways to connect to therapy regardless. Here’s a great resource for finding affordable (and in some cases, free) therapy.
It takes time to find the right therapist, so give yourself time. You might still be looking for the right therapist two months from now even though you thought it would take one or two days tops. That’s fine. Most things take longer than expected.
Ready to take the first step?
You already did. You’re here, figuring it out. Finding the right therapist looks like doing exactly what you’re doing right now.
The next step is to send out a few emails to therapists you think would be a good fit for you. For those you’re curious about, ask to schedule a consultation call. Once you feel good about someone, ask to schedule an initial appointment.
Keep going. You’ll figure it out as you go. Remember that you can also always ask a friend or someone in your life to help you; can they ask you about how it’s going a week from now so that you have some accountability? Can they look through a few profiles and send their favorite profiles over to you? Can they promise to take you to dinner after your first appointment, regardless of whether you’ve found the right fit?
Ask for help. As you’ll see in my philosophy, the strongest people are the ones who connect to support. You already started, so just continue. Start, continue, keep asking for help along the way - that’s how anything important gets done.
Katherine Morgan Schafler is an NYC-based psychotherapist, author, and speaker. For more of her work: get her book, follow her on Instagram, subscribe to her newsletter, or visit her site.